Normally I eat like crap on the weekends causing my pants to feel a bit on the tight side come Monday morning. Last night I pushed myself down to the gym, did some crunches, and got on that elliptical. I found that the best way to pass the time on the elliptical is to read a book. Right now I’m reading Mercy by Jodi Picult. I just love her writing, because it captures me and the time flys by. “Just let me get to the end of this chapter! I must know what happens!” helps me stay on for an extra few minutes without feeling exhausted. But this week I have done 3 days of cardio, and 2 days of abs/weights. My stomach feels tighter (disregard the lose skin! I can still feel strength under it all), and my pants feel nice and where they should be.
When it comes Friday, it looks like I need a belt. I can pull my pants a good 4 inches from my body and slide my hands down them to touch my legs. My boyfriend tells me that it’s time I put my “weekend belt” on, because by sunday night my pants are snug again. It’s so strange how our bodies can bloat up so easily. Especially when we have loose bellies that have nothing left to do but hang or expand. This skin is HEAVY.
I’m hoping to get this website up and running soon here. Actually moving away from the simple blog, and learning how to make it a “real” blog/site. I want to add my recipes, my body lift surgery journey, my before and after photos, others success stories. I’ve been thinking about how to approach it. I don’t want people finding me by name or anything, but I want to be able to share with you all.
I’m so tired of trying to hide who I am, but I can’t share it with many. Some of my best friends don’t even know that I was heavy in the first place, and I’m not happy about that. I’m afraid of their reactions. I’m afraid they’ll look at me like I’m broken, or in pain. Not many have gone through this. For example, yesterday I heard ladies at my work talking about calories and dieting and I wanted to jump right in and tell them good things to eat that are filling but darn tasty, and I wanted to talk about their favorite lean cuisine or 100 calorie snack. But instead I just smile and keep quiet… keep my secrets hidden.
But today I am proud of myself for not just doing cardio at the gym, but my abs too. I just love feeling my abs tug back when I sit up. That nice sore pain. And my legs burn just from going up the stairs because of the nice leg workout from the night before. I have structure inside me. I’m proud that when I look in the mirror and flex my arms, there’s only a little skin hanging because I’m becoming stronger. More tone and defined. The skin won’t completely go away, but at least I can work with what I have and be proud of myself more often. We all have to take time to love our bodies. It’s all we got, right?
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