You know what she told me? “Just finance the tummy tuck and worry about the payments later. Getting the tummy tuck now will make you happy. And you said you’re unhappy with your body right? Just fix it”

All my talk about finding satisfaction with food was over-run with my ‘body’ image. Needless to say, I ditched that therapist. I’m on a quest to find a new one. They’re just SO hard to find… one’s that are open on the weekends and worth while to talk to. It’s all a process.

Either way, I do wish you the best of luck, and you’re right–time changes.

Look forward to reading the post about your tummy tuck happening.

I don’t know if the gnawing of “want” will ever leave me. I can only try to deep breath and meditate to make the anxiety of “want” to go away. I am just not satisfied with half a muffin. I -know- its enough, and i -know- my body is nourished, but I have this gnawing feeling of unsatisfied that lurks HARD.

Sometimes I don’t understand it myself. I think there will become a day when I learn how to do it all over again. My body is just so used to stuffed full = satisfied that I’ll have to become comfortable with the change.

Only time changes Thanks for your kind words and promise on a tummy tuck. That makes me happy. Because it will happen.. it’s just a matter of time.

The big problem is “wanting to eat till you pop.” I’ve managed to convert from a diet that depended 100% on calorie counting and journalling for several years to 100% instinctive eating, and its rather nice–it just takes really training your body to know when to stop. (And thats often before you’re full!) and using the gym as a huge tool to help take care of the little excesses you allow yourself. Some key ideas that have really helped me include:

-it will still be there later. (And everything tastes better when you’re hungry)
-after one taste, its not like it tastes any better.
-AHH YOU EAT IT. *Shove at someone else*
-if I know I’m in a particularily off mood.. cut myself what I know is an acceptable portion and before even trying it, dousing the rest in vinegar etc and throwing it out. I’m more likely to eat the other half of the muffin (like I did this morning) than do that, but if its something like triple fudge cake.. yeah…

I mean, I know 175 loss is much more than my little 25lb loss–so maybe you’ll need longer of counting to let your body get used to its new weight, but eventually…

As for the tummy tuck: you’ll get it, I promise. If it makes you feel better you’re f-ing gorgeous as it is. You’re the girl that the rest of us look at with a bit of envy.. Pat yourself on the back and give yourself a hug: you’ve done amazing, and yes there are some little issues here and there, but you know that money saved up is only gonna collect interest and once you can get that tummy tuck, maybe you’ll be able to get yourself a treat for waiting.